Helen

Helen is Helen.

Full name
Helen's full name is Chlamydia-Infested Bronchitis-Suffering Helen Melissa David Brian-Sue Anne Robinson Crusoe Stuart Ironically Smith Jones Jesus (correctly pronounced He-Suse).

The Enklebert Affair
To this day Helen is still in love with Enklebert. She was due to be wed to him, but he chickened out, or realised she was hideous.

Trivia
Had Helen married Enklebert, her full name would be Chlamydia-Infested Bronchitis-Suffering Helen Melissa David Brian-Sue Anne Robinson Crusoe Stuart Ironically Smith Jones Jesus (correctly pronounced He-Suse) Dr (Lieutenant) Enklebert McClaude Edward Wulfric Charles Enrique Simon-Says Xavier Augustus Jaques von Pomplemousse Bernoldi Banoffi Thibaud Verstappen Wells Davidson Andrews Wright Hotologa Moss-Pot Fabuloso Kartikayenn Crimbo Sectionale Gaylo LOoBud¡4Hermaphrodite Yale Harvard Oxford Cambridge (or Fred for long). Which is of course retarded.