Fissile

 Renowned Chronicles of Fissile 

(rhymes with missile) (adjective) Capable of undergoing nuclear fission.

 And other Stories

 (But not Giraffes this Time) 

'''A sequel to the worst-selling book: “The Renowned Chronicles Of Shortbread Or Shortcake (noun) Shortbread is a crumbly biscuit made from flour and butter. [from an old-fashioned use of short meaning ‘crumbly’] And Other Stories (And Giraffes)”'''

 

Chapter 1 – Monday-day 15-17 and possibly 16 can come too

Once upon another time nothing happened whatsoever except probably nothing!!! Anywho somewhere apart from apartments my mum hangs other apartments from tall CN flowers. Quidjibo ahaha matarala SMACK!! SMACK!! SMACK!! Howowowowowo splop ech hac a hac errrrr explode?? Mick Michaels lives nowhere except nowhere except probably nowhere. Maybe I fucked myself in the ribs. Occasionally I eggman my egg flavoured egg’s lemon’s eggs. J. Barnard somersaulted his brother’s chips because they fumed horribly of eggs. Vinegar eggs often spread the fabric softener oven. Burkina Faso. This means nothing unless it does1Hawaii is easte-weste-northe-easte-southe-southe-weste-clockwisee-northe. Unless Tuesday melts its balls.

Chapter 2 – Chews-its-bollocks-day

“F-Fancy that!” stammered stammering Joe with an Afro. “C-Cor Blimey I shat on-n me t-toilet-t s-seat flavoured t-toilet s-seat. F-FUCK M-ME!!” erupted yellow bellied Bobton 2006 the thirdty fourthethnessly. “Gayness,” said Crazy-in-a-jar. Honey bunny mummy humped Honey dunny mummy because he did like rabbit’s dildos. Are you you going to buy yourself anytime or get bent of detrimental chicken boob burgers? “NO or perhaps NO.” Said fish-burger Pete. Candy men suck themselves all day long. *Screams* “Oh shizze hausen fausen Frau-zen” Hitlerson announced to the amazing Fishcakes of Reykjavik. “Indulge in my chocolate penis or maybe you’ll die!” Dragons shouted loudly. Golden Men are rather saucy and especially they are completely, utterly and strangely brown cows. Flying pies collide very detrimentally into my thighs and big gargantuan nostrils. Hiding probably under a mink mannequin, snorting Michael Jackson’s paedophilic ideas causes ruptured spleens to explode.

Chapter 3 – Wedding Nose Die

Jon Jacob Jingle-Heimer Schmidt combusted violently several years later than his body was found. “HOLY DIGERIDOO – OF DOOM!!!” Giraffes ejaculated onto a Steve Irwin action-figure which personally was rather homosexual. Arthur Long johns decided to eviscerate his-self and others around his self, because it is enjoyous only to eviscerate yous self and others around yous self. Prawn Mc Diddy Doodah Terrance shaved repeatedly under his vagina whilst whistling “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” to the Emperor of Slovakia-Occupied Asparagus. Johnny Depth hit himself amidst a fog of intelligent pickled plague-carrying locust pies because he did. Exoskeletons repeatedly unzipped pig tails gateau, probably causing the universe to turn anticlockwise and be spontaneously combusted of death. “Oops I did it again” is terrible and erupts in Intestinal belly fluids milkshake.

Chapter 4 – Thursday the Twenty-fifth of DEATH

““Hhar” said Johnnyetta Depth, Sam Baker’s brain tumours medicinal anti-serum provider.” Johnny Pieface exclaimed over-excitedly before having a heart-attack in prison. He enjoyed nearly dieing because it made him have erections inserted into his arse and arse-hole!!! Fucking John was Fucking himself when meteors rained down upon him. He ejaculated but not into his mouth because he wanted to. Crying can kill small people because maybe they do get killed by crying. Oats and coats and boats and moats and notes and quotes and stoats. “Zimmerman, Fred!” shouted evil Kanevil the evil weevil!!!!!?@!!’! Meanwhile there was 24 gods partying manically, when Thor decided to have terrorism abolished for no reason. He lunched on terrorism. ∏ = 3.148.2 because it doesn’t equal 3.148.1 or 3.148.0.3 or cheesecake pizza or willies holding eac others Willies.

Chapter 5 – ∏Day and 9Day

Did you masturbate inside, Helen? “Yes,” Helen said enjoyously as she did wank inside that nostril. “UVGW!!!” my Mum is saying hello. Tiddlywinks! Word up? No, Word down! Shoes go pi-youn! Because they like to go pi-youn! Plague discovered more chocolate in submarines than anyone cared to mention about. Dragons discovered toffee except they melted spontaneously every year. Disintegrated particles devoured huge buttocks because they were thirsty. Mabel’s legs were regurgitated during labour party’s conference. Mabel said “Yippekayay, Luis Pooey! My fragile buttocks were smashed by Uranus.” And then she cried. Despite this, she visited her Great-great-great-great-great Johnny Depth’s Grave because “Oops I did it again” fired a fishcake around my shit science stool’s testes. Whilst I curiously smothered myself infuriatingly, including Preparation Haich, I understood that Harold-in-a-can can can-can can you? Unfortunately he can! But, he can’t can’t-can’t can’t you? Anyway, he died of the dreaded can-can-disease.

Chapter 6 – That Day what was Day-Day who sat on a Day

Imperial coelenterates make herbivorous pudding pizza. Meanwhile, Jimmy Doughnut McGraw Macaw Hack-saw polluted London vigorously in awe before he saw a Mr Straw. Then, little Italy is bombed by Pakistanistan Mwuhahahahaha. This led to Pakistanistan Mwuhahahahaha losing faith in Allah the III (God). “HOLY MACARONINI! I HELPED MY PONYNY DIE OF DEATH CAKES!” hollered Jimmy Doughnut McGraw Macaw Hack-saw in awe before his door did gnaw the floor. Cor! I saw the gore no more, for sure. Anywhatsit-doodle, Gabbily-Babbily made some inferior Danishes. Denmark, therefore, did gnaw Gabbily-Babbily’s thigh because it tasted of inferior Danishes. Then, he shuddered surprisingly at dawn, before the ravenous delicacy did nibble upon his brain cell. Sleighing through people is terrible to no-one except Santa. However, Santa obliterated a planet called Earth ∏. Now, Eggplants are dissolving rapidly in sulphuric juice. Maybe baby!

Chapter 7 – The last chapter – or – THE CHAPTER WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED – or – The last chapter under the Sun

Johnny Depth massacred Hollywood for $12,000,000,000 because Hollywood SUCKS THEIR SELVES all year short. Daily, my mailman decapitates many envelopes. He is weirdly weird. Oftentimes Americans die painfully because they do. Sometimes infiltrating naked-mole-rats is not fun, but    un-fun and painful. Greeneries can illuminate pornography manuals in their bowels greenly. “Uuuuauaaauuuuhhhhhhhh…” groaned Sexy Bexy whilst harmoniously penetrating Handsome Rob Beckett Suckernut. Whilst cantankerously skiing downwards off cliffs, Jo the Doe rumbled vigorously. Jo the Doe can wrap and rap but not whilst juggling her mains-plugs because it is statically-invasive. Sundays, Jo the Doe and Mary, designed Earth in a millisecond. Electric God sucks dolphins’ behinds. Harold-in-a-can finally 01010110110110001011101011010011110101’ed his bum up to the moon. Anal petition dogs sniffed my fathers’ earth-wire factory generator, whilst rectally analysing several mothers.

Chapter 8 – The Days have gone Down in the West

Light weight boxers box internally disrupted cats until they fall off themselves in ya-mum. Kangaroos’ pouches are large and hold small amounts of penis-juice regularly during intercourse. Surprisingly, intercoursing brings pleasure and pleasure parks. When I intercourse with djinni, I die insanely. Playing with Elliot Smith keeps mummy busy, and I’m aroused also by Elliot Smith. Whilst Isaac rapes Elliot Smith, J Barnard sexually abuses chickens’ eggs. Sometimes, whores make pies whilst shagging Elliot Smith and Isaac-Rumble-Pumble-Joy-Tim-Excellent-Elephant-Crème-Caramel-Dessert-Tescos. Shakespeare rapaficated Elliot Smith with Much Ado About Nothing’s hardback dildo in Vietnam. Ya-mum-in-a-can can can-can can you? “Sniff der crayola und das fergetsen der Circulatory System milkshaken.” Shouted Bob-jim Jim-Bobson. “Hygglobert Hygglobertson cheesecake extraordinaire?” queried Tony Bob Morrison Jr the 5thteenth volcanologist. Hygglobert Hygglobertson instantaneously inserted himself into the himself/herself party.

Chapter 9 – Good day to you, Sir, I am a. . . fish

Klaus da mouse inserted Gabbily-Babbily (cruelly) into his lump-o-shit-machine-pizza-tron which incidentally disintegrated into kajillions of flies. Gabbily-Babbily wanked until explosion threatened to be forthcoming. Whilst Klaus da Mouse eatefied tampons Kentucky-Fried-Chickenly, Violet who Smiles-a-lot tried Sunny da Bunny in holy matrimony. Santa shootified unwanted planets’ pyjamas’ bananas for llamas whose dramas might harm us or farm. Us. “ALARM!” shouted Enklebert McClaude Edward Wulfric Charles Enrique Simon-Says Xavier Augustus Jaques von Pomplemousse Bernoldi Banoffi Thibaude Verstappen Wells Davidson Andrews Wright Hotologa Moss-Pot or Fred for long II, the duck billed platypus, Codename: Wookeyalexjamesanderwookey. “Well, that sucked ass of the plastic variety intensely! Tomorrow, that sucked ass of the iron variety also!!!” said Atombombemilybrontë-wutheringheights yellingly.

Chapter 10 – Ya Mum (Day)

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! Qwertyuiop! Asdfghjkl! Zxcvbnm! Cottagermummumja! End Speech Marks!” erupted Enklebert McClaude Edward Wulfric Charles Enrique Simon-Says Xavier Augustus Jaques von Pomplemousse Bernoldi Banoffi Thibaude Verstappen Wells Davidson Andrews Wright Hotologa Moss-Pot or Fred for long II, the duck billed platypus, Codename: Wookeyalexjamesanderwookey unsilently. Question Mark? Exclamation Mark Exclamation Mark!! Also I shagged Harold-in-a-can in a can enjoyously. “WOOHOO!!!!” pissed off Johnny Depth Charge, Johnny Depth’s alias and mum. “Oh Johnietta Depth!” screamed Johnietta Depth Chargeroonie, Johnny Depth’s uncle/self/finger/daughter-cake. Wonderfully, cheesecake shaggificates Miragifate, a Shizza with Hobo texture. Klaus da Mouse turned Rastafarian, bitch! “Is my penis humungous?!” cried Fredricoa during oral intercourse. Hobo-man lickificated Crappy granny Nappy a.k.a. Hilary Duffer. But the story ended anyway.

Or did it?

Yes, it did.